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Wednesday, September 03, 2003
Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

Some Academy readers have asked for an update on my vacay. How's it going, the throngs wonder? Why haven't you posted anything about your travels? Be still, masses. Nourish yourself on the following tidbits....

I have been on the road since Friday, the day I left beautiful Portland, Oregon. I'd be desperately sad about leaving such a glorious city, but I'm hell-bent on a return engagement there. One of a more permanent nature. Let's hope so. First, however, I have to get the Citibank vultures off my back. Also, I don't think Robert and I are quite done living in a big ole annoying loud horrible city. At least, that's what I tell myself. So, this move. (Plus, of course, I can't wait to shack up with Robert. Cute little left-wing hysteric that he is. Hi sweetie! *smooch*)

But I have nowhere to be until the middle of October, when I start a really exciting job. One I'm terrified of, by the way, because it seems awfully grown-up. Yikes! So, I'm taking a looooong wandering journey south to Hell Ay, as that gossip-hound Ted Casablanca calls it.

My first stop was the tiny town of Prospect, Oregon. Prospect is approximately half-way between Medford and Crater Lake National Park. I didn't want to leave Oregon without seeing Crater Lake.

You know, I have nothing amusing to say about Crater Lake. Not a thing. Its breathtakingly beautiful. If you haven't seen it: see it. Its not like I'm easily jarred by natural wonders, either. When I first saw the Grand Canyon, I said, "Yup. Pretty much what I thought. Big old hole in the ground." This, however, is a big old hole in the ground created by a volcano and filled with really blue water. Its pretty. Go look at it.

Taking a looong road trip by yourself is fantastic. Its something I've always wanted to so. But, because I was raised like a milk-fed veal, it has taken me 33 years to do it. I always thought I'd have plenty of time and space to think and get to know myself. You know, take a nice long swim in Lake Mindy.

Okay, so I was ready to get out of the lake and dry off for a while by day three. I'm terrific company and all but I was getting a little sick of myself.

I was staying at a terrific hotel in Prospect called, appropriately, the Prospect Hotel. The owners, Mike and Jo Turner, took pity on me and invited me to join them for dinner. We ended up taking a drive in a 1981 Ford van up into the mountains to drink wine and watch the sun go down. I got some beautiful pictures. Email me and I'll send ya one, if you already know what I look like. If you don't know what I look like, I look a lot like this.

That's the kind of thing that happens when you're traveling by yourself. My parents, however, can't get over the fact that everything I'm doing sounds like the beginning of a Sam Raimi movie. Lone blonde woman, traveling in the woods, cell phone goes out, stops at a hotel, gets into van... you know the drill. How could that story end well? But, so far so good. (gulp... knock wood three times)My belongings await me in LA and I'm continuing to wander South. More anecdotes tomorrow, Gentle Readership.

No FBI Agents Visited Me But...

In all honesty, Willy, if Ashcroft had come by and quizzed me I would not have been surprised. Whew! Bad-mouthing Ashcroft on the Internet feels like taking off a pair of tight jeans.

More on the topic of separation. I will miss the people I worked with and for. I will miss many things about my former employment. But, boy, there are things that I thought I would miss that I just don't miss at all. For instance, the court for which I used to work released a very important and controversial decision yesterday. But, just now, I spent an hour and a half or so eating biscuits with a table of 10-12 chattering people and NO ONE SAID WORD ONE ABOUT IT TO ME. In fact, they might not even KNOW ABOUT IT. Sigh. So far, I do not miss the inside baseball. I know nothing more than anyone else does about this decision and I'm delighted.

Wanna know a secret? I haven't even read it yet. Wanna know something else? I'm NOT GONNA. From now on, I plan to operate like a real grown-up lawyer. In other words, I'm going to read only Howard Bashman's summary but then claim absolute knowledge of all the intricate details of the ninety-page decision. Deeeeee deee deee deee deeeeee..... (brief pause while I skip merrily around the room).