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Thursday, April 17, 2003
A Good Fit is Hard to Forget

Ah, yes. That was quite a fit I threw. And Mark witnessed it! He saw it with his own eyes! Not even a student at Brooklyn yet, Mark sat in the back of the luxurious moot court room while I shrieked at the then-Moot Court president "What if I just quit? HUH? What happens to me if I just quit right now?!?" S H R I E K E D. I think there was even some foot-stomping involved. There was certainly hair-tossing, that I know for sure. Keep in mind, gentle readers, this was ONE DAY before we were scheduled to scurry off to North Carolina to compete.

And yet, undeterred, Mark still joined Moot Court after coming to Brooklyn. He still competed admirably in gorgeous Malibu, California. He led the Constitutional Law team -- the very team I tried to quit -- to victory! He led the Products Liability team to.... well, to Cincinatti!. Now, he has risen to the highest echelon of The Moot Court Honor Society -- the E-BOARD.

I contributed exactly nothing to BLS Moot Court while I was in school. (Unless you count the huge cardboard rooster that I stole from the cafeteria and propped up in the office, announcing that Moot Court had a new cock.) I flew down to North Carolina for that competition and drank endless bloody maries garnished with meat. I ate tons of shrimp at the several Tavern on the Green parties. I consumed, basically. I detracted. I bore holes in the system from within.

Now, though, I can take credit for one contribution: Mark. When he was invited to join, I lied and told him it really wasn't that bad, and that my fit had been the result of too much work and a hormonal/chemical imbalance. He joined, and the rest is history. He's the yang to my yin.

Breaking news . . .

Brooklyn, NY
April 17, 2003

The results of the closely-followed Moot Court Executive Board election are final. Mark Merriman has been elected Vice President. The Supreme Court was not needed to break any stalemate here. Mark Merriman won by a landslide.

Mark's election has been hailed as the best move yet by this year's Executive Board. One Moot Court member was overheard saying, "Gosh, I don't know if we had a good record this year, but I'm so psyched that Mark's the new VP!" Another member told this reporter (on condition of anonymity): "I was real upset when Gerard took down the pictures in the Moot Court office. But now that they elected Mark for VP, I guess I forgive him."

The buzz in the cafeteria when the news broke was unmistakable. One particularly studious BLS-er raised his head from his books long enough to shout, "Yo! Mark Merriman in da house!"

Long-time friend of Merriman and 2001 BLS valedictorian, Melinda R. Eades, observed, "Mark is really the best person for the job. He already knows how to handle the tough questions like 'What if I just quit? How do I quit?' I think he'll have no trouble at all."

Moot Court advisor, Professor Pitler, could not be reached for comment. His devoted and long-suffering assistant, Charles, informed me that he was napping.

Punitive Damages and Due Process

George Will has this column in the Washington Post today, which was brought to my attention by one of my favorite right-wing maniac friends. Its always nice to find something that we can agree on. I bet Ginsburg and Scalia feel the same way.

This is what I do to relax.

My good best wishes to everyone for a happy holiday week and weekend.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003
The Golden Age of Weight Watchers

I have recently rejoined Weight Watchers. I thought nothing could quell my hatred for these women and their huge water bottles and their hysterical insistences that they'd rather have one "fudgicle" (pronounced wrong) than a whole chocolate mousse.

But then my friend Meg sent me the link for this website that features Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974. I laughed so hard I cried. Suddenly, I love Weight Watchers all over again.

Monday, April 14, 2003
Hot and Flaky, Fresh Out of the Oven

The Academy is proud to report that our 20 Questions have finally been dispatched to our kind, generous blawgfather, Howard Bashman. Yes, it has taken us a very, very long time to send these questions. Each question had to be carefully calibrated and road tested. We sweated. We toiled. We held focus groups at the Mall of America. Finally, we decided upon 20 questions and sent them off to Mr. Bashman in a silk-lined box attached to an email.

Mr. Bashman's terms stated that he would return his answers in two weeks. Considering our considerable delay in getting those questions to him, however, we would not be horrified if he took a tad longer himself.