The Academy

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Friday, January 24, 2003
Hey Mark! You stole my current thought on Mindy! My current thought on Mindy: I love Mindy.

Yes the the BSL is gettin' me down. I don't think I'm leaving my chair until 10 AM Monday morning. Yikes. Ents, rescue me!!

P.S.: the Boy Scouts suck (pun intended).
P.S.S.: I used my God powers to edit the full names inserted in Jen's post... Don't want those Google tenticles to get us!

Someone's feeling the administrator's rub now!

I think Mindy and Robert need to know what is going to happen to three complete strangers this weekend. Perhaps this can be worked into the wonderful tale woven by Mindy about Thorlarc and the Ents. On Saturday at 2:00 p.m. in Room 504 of BLS (not to be confused with BSL), Mark Merr_man, Jennifer Philp_tt, Stefanie Pla_mann, and David Wils_n will be judging three second year law students in a practice round for the Constitutional Law competition. The subject matter: criminal procedure (4th and 5th amendment stuff).

I don't those facts need any embellishment.

I do think Thorlarc needs a good ass-kicking.

And, I am now deeply afraid of the powers of Google. Mindy made me scared. I am probably going to have nightmares about a monster named Google searching for me and then ripping me to pieces publicly. Thanks a lot, Mindy.

OKAY. I posted a full name because I was testing editorial powers. PLEASE EXERCISE YOUR POWER AND REMOVE REFERENCE TO OUR FULL NAMES.

I love Mark. There are few people as funny as Mark. Is that better?

I also love Judge Hug. I love Judge Hug because whenever I say his name I say it like Willy Jay does. Like Dr. Evil asking Scott for a hug. Judge Hug. Tee hee. Its nice to be easily amused. Makes life easier.

My current thought on Mindy.

I love Mindy.

Interesting point, Jen, about how the Danish scouting antics are not so different from American kids playing cowboys and Indians. But here's a distinction: at least the Indians won a couple of battles. I mean, it could be Little Big Horn you're playing, right? But the Danish scout leaders have given the kids in the Nazi role a pretty firm advantage by setting the game in an Auschwitz-type arena. But the underlying cultural obnoxiousness is pretty similar, I guess. Now that the Boy Scouts have eliminated an entire subsection of normally sexed people from their leadership (BSA v. Dale), I'm afraid there is an even greater chance that the game played on lots of scouting trips will be more similar to Mark's chase and conquer game than the Danish one. I have no sociological data to support this. Just a really persuasive episode of South Park.

Today is a great example of how much I love my job. I have nothing to do at my job right now. No -- really. NOTHING. I've had nothing to do at jobs before. Usually they expect you to go sit at your desk and look miserable whether you have something to do or not. This is something I have never understood. I guess it has something to do with solidarity. "We all have to look miserable and if we all admitted we have nothing to do we might as well close up shop!" However, in my current gig, if I have nothing to do and there's no chance that the Judge will come up with something for me to do, I stay home. Sigh. I love my house. I have a fireplace. I can wear my sweatpants with a big tear in the butt. I can look outside at the rain and fog and stare. So here I am. Doing exactly that.

Poor Robert, on the other hand, is trapped in the vortex of his Big Scary Lawfirm (BSL) slaving away on some miserable piece of litigation. Subject to the terrorizing and irrational shouting of the of-counsel tool he works under, who (employing a Harry-Potter naming device) I will call Thorlarc. It has a nice middle earth ring to it. And it is safe from the tentacles of Google. Thorlarc is an evil creepy pigfucker. Thorlarc stands between Robert and I who are -- now that I think about it -- kind of adorable hobbit-like creatures. If it were not for the evil nasty Thorlarc, Robert would be headed towards the Pacific Northwest this evening. However, the whims of Thorlarc have forced my little hairy-footed boyfriend who only seeks snacks and not adventure to give up his Alaska Airlines ticket and sit and slave -- pulling down trees in the forests of BSL. I hope the Ents get off their big tree asses and go kick some Thorlarc ass.

Why won't Thorlarc do something I can tattle on him for? He has made the fatal error of standing between me and the RPRS I require. He shall pay.


Hi everyone. I was very pleased to discover that the Europeans have taken my idea of a "chase and conquer" game and worked in some exciting world history. The original game featured one player -- an "uncle" chasing around the other player -- a nubile, hairless and provocative underaged "nephew." It too was based on history, but I think you can see why I am excited that some European countries have expanded the game to include broader and slightly controversial social/political issues. Kudos and applause.

Next, I think tattling is fun and leaves the wrongdoer with a sour taste in his/her mouth. Serves them right! I also think returning incorrect change, given the factual circumstances, was the right choice. If you now need $90, steal it from a co-worker like a normal person!

I'm not sure I would tell a child about a first date - ever. You can trust me, because I had approximately 400 of them between the years 1996 and 1999. They nearly all ended around 2AM with the TV tuned to the WB and me stealing $90 from the poor sucker's wallet.

With respect to the totalitarian argument raised by our learned Jennifer, I am obliged to humbly disagree. This is a private forum begun and operated by Melinda. Constitutional doctrine teaches us that without a government actor, speech can be regulated. If you are thinking of a state law that may outlaw Mindy's action, please supply us with some rough idea of what state law applies. The internet proves notoriously tricky in establishing jurisdiction. As a practical matter, in the unlikely event I find myself "regulated", I'll speak my mind with management. Besides, being a part of this forum is a honor (note grammar.)

I would just like to point out that in 1997, the Chief of the 9th Circuit was Judge Hug.

I think that's great.

Regarding the Danish camp activities, ummm, is that really any worse that American kids playing Cowboys and Indians? I realize your first reaction is going to be "HELL YES," but think about it for a minute.

I'm working on my proposed toast. Will be forthcoming.

Thursday, January 23, 2003
For a laugh and a reason to outlaw pro se civil litigation see:

2002 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 7729

Jennifer, as I am sure you realize, my "proposal" was in jest. I merely suggest that it would be a fun exercise to embark upon. So, get with the program, will you! Start with the most outrageous example and we'll see if it is possible to sanitize it without losing its hilarity.

As for Mindy's link below - my jaw hit the floor. Takes some guts to organize that game! I just hope no Jewish kids were on the team with the Nazis - yikes!

I told my employer. She's taking it from there. We'll see what happens. Yikes. I felt like I had to tell my boss, though, because I tell her everything I feel the slightest bit ethically squeamish about. This includes the fact that a bartender at the Bellagio gave me change for a 100 when I gave him only a ten. Which leads to my returning that 90 dollars that I could really use right now.

Thanks for the adbice, kids. Now, to turn the discussion to something even more outrageous, click on this.

Robert and I have talked about the problem our first date poses. Not the kind of thing you want to tell your kids about. "Mommy, how did you and Daddy meet?" "Well, sweetie... Mommy was really drunk at a karaoke bar and Daddy had just got engaged so naturally...." *shudder*

The totalitarianism abounds! Now one of the dictators wants to screen my speech. Like most lawyers, both of you secretly despise the Constitution for the limits it places upon your superior intellect. Well, I won't be silenced.

(How's that for a phit of pique?!?)

As for the ethical lapse. . . who'd you tell? Your judge or others?

I agree with Robert. I think you did the right thing in dissing him and in covering your ass by telling on him. I can not envision a way in which this will come back to "screw you." Would Professor Pompous really be so stupid as to spread word that you . . . . what, refused to reveal a chambers secret? How ridiculous!

On a different topic, Mark informs me that he, too, plays video games. I'm forced to realize that I am the odd one. You video players are in the majority. And, I admit that the real reason I think video playing is strange is just that I'm so bad at it.

As for Jennifer's third statement - admittedly, I too have thought about the special considerations that would come into play if a good friend, such as Jennifer, wanted to publicly expound upon Mindy and my "first date." Thus, I have the following suggestion: I propose that Jennifer draft her future remarks and post them here to this blog so that we may jointly critique and edit if necessary or propose alternate drafts. We will then have arrived, hopefully, at an acceptable version if and when its use becomes necessary.

And Mindy, you give too much credit to said professor. Abiding by your ethical duties will ultimately elevate your status in the eyes of those most important (i.e. the judge) and will not, ultimately, screw you. He is obviously not worth your worry. I am proud of you!

Jennifer I will respond to your first statement. I leave it to Robert to handle the third. As for the second, I have no response. You're right: its strange. I never contended I was anything less than strange.

As for the totalitarian state, I'm sure you will agree that neither you nor Mark should have removal power. You can't be trusted with it. You are phamous for phits of pique and might suddenly remove me if I extended that power to you. For instance, you're wishing you could do that right now, aren't you? Just because I mentioned your phits. As for Mark, he doesn't want removal power. If you knew him as well as I do, you'd know that. (Hi Mark!!! Kiss!)

On another topic, the ethical lapse committed by one of my former professors yesterday is still infuriating me. What a tool. I hestitate to go into detail about what happened exactly here, but suffice it to say I was asked to violate confidentiality in a clear quid pro quo for a recommendation for something. Creep. OK. So I told on him and now he's gonna get in trouble. This will ultimately, I know, screw me.

First of all, I would like to point out that this blog is a totalitarian state. Only Mindy and Robert have been given the power to remove bloggers. Mark and I do not have that power. But, my enthusiasm for this idea outweighs my dismay at the unequal division of power.

Moving on to more important topics. This video game thing. I'm going to come right out and say it. I've been holding back for too long. I think it is strange. I really do. I know you two to be incredibly smart, engaged, lively human beings, yet you seem to enjoy getting lost in these games. It confuses me. I guess Mindy offered an explanation below -- after a hard day's work, blah, blah, blah. I'm not satisfied with that.

And now for the most important topic of all for today. Robert's mention of the "first date." I was wondering . . . if you two should get married someday and if I were to be invited to participate in some fashion in that event, would it be out of line for me to recount my memories of that night?

Wednesday, January 22, 2003
Yes, Mindy's post (below) is brutally honest. We are video game nerds - and if you have had trouble reaching her by phone lately, or if you've noticed a marked decrease in her concentration when you do reach her, the obsession is to blame. You see, The Sims Online is more than just a video game. It is a life-sucking addiction. So what is the solution? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

So, tonight, I will join The Sims Online world - but let's be clear - it's going to be a hard sell. I'm a firsthand witness to the addictive power this game wields. I will tread cautiously. On the other hand, I am looking forward to meeting Mindy in the on-line world. And, I am especially touched by the fact that, although "sex" in the sims on-line world is extremely easy to come by, Mindy has "saved her sim-self" for me. Thus, I am looking forward to our simulated courtship. Of course, it will never be able to beat the fantastic folly that was our real-life courtship - especially our "first date"!!

For those of you who do not know this about me, I have recently become unnaturally obsessed with a new computer game. This is not unheard of. I cycle through computer game obsessions; I am rarely without one. Before Christmas, for example, I could not stop playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. COULD... NOT....STOP. After a long day of meting out justice, which often involves thinking really, really hard, there is nothing quite like coming home and shooting lots of tourists while driving really fast on the beach listening to Spandau Ballet. However, of late, I have become obsessed with a new game -- The Sims Online.

To be honest, I have no idea why this game is so consuming. GTA's appeal is obvious. You escape from every day life -- you're living in this chaotic world where none of your usual rules apply. In TSO, I'm getting away from every day life by playing a game that mimics everyday life. To borrow a phrase from my very Hollywood friend Andy, its just so meta! Of course, in my daily life, I do not dance in cages, live in a massive palace, or do backflips. So maybe that's the allure.

My boyfriend, Robert, is consistently aggravated by my TSO obsession. Hard to imagine since he gifted both the computer and the game to me and he himself is known to spend HOURS playing the suffocatingly boring Civilization III. However, I will admit that our long-distance relationship is much easier when we are both playing the *same* video game obsessively. ("What did you do tonight, hon?" "Well, I finally killed Lance after I beat the dang Driver mission.") So I have decided to try to employ TSO as a tool that can bring us closer together rather than drive us apart. (Insert chorus of 'Awwwws' here.)

So I sent him a copy. Tonight, I plan to lose my simulated virginity. Over the past few months I have fended off the advances of many simulated beings cuz I've been saving myself for Robbie. Heck, he should get first crack at somethin'.

I'm here. I have nothing interesting to say. I am just wasting time. Hey, this is fun!
Mindy, guess what just came in the mail! ;-)
The Onion is funny today...

I intend to use this forum for healing a lot of my inner wounds. You might not know it from looking at me, but I have inner child issues.

Here's a forum for posting funny stuff to each other. Its a public website, yall, but no one's looking. I think it'll be a fun way to share amusing stuff with each other and the universe, should anyone care.