Blogging about nothing.

 
In other news, I am becoming a better poker player.

I want to report that I schooled Robert last night in a poker tournament. Normally, I don't bet against him because, well, he's him, and I just assume he's got a better hand than I do. Plus, he tells me not to bet against him if we're going head to head for real money because of the couple-thing, even though last time I checked my fingers are jewelry-free so I don't really agree that our interests are completely coextensive. Unless its one of those special occasions where he gives me money to gamble. (Which is really nice. Thanks, honey!)

But, back to how I kicked his ass. I TOTALLY DID. First, I beat him a couple of times when he made the mistake of staying in with a flush WHEN I HAD A HIGHER FLUSH (hee hee hee). Then, I knocked him out personally and permanently in a head-to-head. Then I won the whole thing. Wheeee.
posted by mindse at 3:30 PM

 
There's a reason I read Attorneys Suck, a masterfully anonymous blawg. Without IA, I would never have learned about this tasty sounding but oh so wrong snack. Every time they find a new place to put cheese in a pizza, my friend Meg refers to that as a "pizzavation." Or when they find a new delivery system for candy, that is, of course, a "candyvation." What is this? Snackcakeavation just doesn't sound right. Fryervation? Help, please.
posted by mindse at 1:41 PM

 
To the contrary, Willy, I think we can agree that amongst Academy members you are Most Likely To Face A Senate Confirmation Committee With Favorable Results. I, on the other hand, am Most Likely To Face A Senate Committee Other Than Judiciary Unwillingly. Having had a completely different life before I came to the law, I was unconfirmable before I entered the hallowed halls of my alma mater, Jolly Fat's Law Hut. In my other life, you got extra points for being extra outrageous. In this one, I keep forgetting I'm supposed to be respectable.

In retrospect, it probably would have been better to have been a lot more careful about anonymity. But this little blawg got noticed a lot faster than I ever thought possible. I never expected it to be noticed at all, for crying out loud. If I had been more careful, I might be more comfortable blawgging at length about topics beyond that of the Giant Chee-to. Even now, I ask myself, is a controversy surrounding the Giant Chee-to likely to come before the Circuit for which I work? I ultimately concluded that it was okay to wax poetic about the Chee-to because any ownership dispute is likely going to be handled by one of those Big Square State Circuits. I think, however, that the comfort level that anonymity affords would ultimately be dangerous. Whether people can figure out who I am or not, there are some topics I just should not talk publicly about for the next six months. There are some topics that I will forever resist the urge to talk publicly about, even though shameless grabs for fame by doing so have worked out okay for some. Me, I'd feel gross.

You know, gross. Gross like that former professor who tried to quid pro quo some inside baseball info from me should feel. Yeah, I'm still mad about that. Its all I can do not to hyperlink to his face. But that would also make me feel gross. And scared. Gross and scared. Glad it all happened in Canada, which is far away.


posted by mindse at 1:24 PM

 
I ran the unhyphenated term and found three inventions that at least used Cheetos in the testing process.
posted by mindse at 12:20 PM

 
I can't believe I'm saying this

We're debating amongst ourselves here today so I thought I'd bring it out in the open air. Are the Americans who went to Baghdad to serve as human shields guilty of treason?


posted by mindse at 11:37 AM

 
The Chee-to Has A Following

Fantastic fairy blawgmother Denise Howell has pointed out that my earlier prediction about this being the only blawg that would post the deformed snack turned out to be wrongitty wrong wrong wrong. Once again, I've underestimated the power of the Internet.



posted by mindse at 11:43 PM

 
The Giant Chee-to

I have more to say about the Giant Chee-to. First, I had no idea really that the word "Chee-to" is hyphenated. I thought it was simply "Cheeto". Or maybe even "Cheetoh". Considering that I've lived some 30 plus years thinking this, its kind of disturbing. But the fact is I have never, until this post, typed the word. Chee-to. It just doesn't look right. Perhaps its because its singular. Chee-tos. Nope. Still weird.

Second, the hoopla surrounding the Giant Chee-to is hilarious. We know this. But do we know why? I'll tell you why. It is hilarious because it is being regarded as if its some amazing natural phenomenon and not just a big Chee-to mistake. If this were a gigantic toma-to or pota-to, that would be one thing. But it is not. It is, as I have already explained, a gigantic Chee-to. You know how such a thing can happen? A big glob of corn meal batter somehow doesn't get separated into seven smaller globs. That's how it happens. Or, as (funniest occupation title ever) Chee-to Development Manager Kevin Cogan notes, its a "Seasoning Accumulation" problem. The thing is -- its not a miracle, its a mistake. Funny.

Third, I wonder if the new-found fame of the Giant Chee-to will prompt Frito-Lay to create a WHOLE NEW LINE of Chee-tos that are as big as lemons.

Fourth, the arrival of the Giant Chee-to reminds me of a game my sister and I used to play while eating Chee-tos. We would withdraw a Chee-to from the bag, hold it up, and proclaim aloud the character from the Dukes of Hazzard that the Chee-to most closely resembled. The very slim Chee-tos were "Daisies," while the slightly larger were "Roscoes" and the medium-sized ones were "Bos" or "Lukes," depending on certain nuances I cannot now recall. Occasionally, we fought. She would contend that a certain Chee-to was an "Uncle Jesse," while I would insist that it was a "Cooter." Not a physical fight, you understand. A civilized Point/Counterpoint kind of thing.

I'm certain my sister and I would agree on the proper category for this most recent specimen.
posted by mindse at 8:14 PM

 
If you wonder why you visit us, its because no other blawg will post this.
posted by mindse at 11:57 AM

 
Jen is Sooo Smart

The politicization of the judicial selection process is distressing. But Jen has a point. Its an infection that comes from inside, as is evidenced by some of the rabid commentary out there from those who sound like they would better serve the country as counsel for a legislator or a senate committee or something. There's plenty of jobs out there where you can make yourself some policy, smarties, if that's what you want. If you're a law clerk, though, that ain't your job.

More importantly, folks, we need more questions for HJB. I'd like to get something together to send to him by Monday. There are only so many ways I can ask "How do you find the time to be so prolific?" As is evidenced by the recent gap in content on this blog, even a blog staffed by five people is not the easiest thing in the world to maintain. Never fear, though! I'm sure my mother and I will have another fight about bath decals soon.
posted by mindse at 10:05 AM

 
You know, I've been impressed by Howard's neutrality too. Not so the posters on the Greedy Clerks board, who have been expressing their dismay about supposed Bashman Bias. Whatever. I wish they would provide more information of the kind that their title suggests. I need some hard info about How To Get Money.

Folks, I'm applying for law firm jobs in Los Angeles. I have not interviewed at law firms in some time. I'm afraid. However, I'm remembering the good times we had back in the day, when Jen and I spent a month listening to the same speech over and over again about how Our Firm Is Different From All Other Firms. In order to avoid going insane, we completely mastered the art of the zone-out -- particularly during lengthy whimsical stories about the international tax implications of a particular deal. We had it down, my friends: the vacant yet rapt expression, the lips slightly parted, the well-timed nodding, the occasional interested-sounding "Really? Huh! I wouldn't have guessed that." This time around I have a better idea of what I actually want to do and I'm applying only to places I actually would want to work, so I don't think I'll need to drag those skillz out of the closet. But the prospect of interviewing again scares me anyway. I have two scheduled, both are set to begin at 10 and end around 3 or 4. Eeep.

I suspect Robert is less concerned about saving taxpayers money and more concerned about saving himself the time listening to me complain about AEDPA. Poor dear.
posted by mindse at 3:25 PM

 
Bashmaniacs, Indeed.

Well, the Academy technicians are cooking up some juicy questions for our Blawgger down in the lab. Either that or someone's makin' cookies. One of our number is said to be lunching with HJB today and will likely return with some of the preliminaries out of the way. For those of you who have demanded that we ask HJB "How on earth do you have time to keep How Appealing so gosh-darned up to date?": we promise to ask that and every possible permutation thereof.
posted by mindse at 9:16 AM